<![CDATA[Orchid Advocacy - Translational Love, Relationships & Neuro-Diversity Saturday]]>Sun, 15 Dec 2024 14:32:20 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[​Anxiety As a Result of Maternal Immune Activation]]>Mon, 04 Nov 2024 11:32:24 GMThttps://orchidadvocacy.org/translational-love-relationships--neuro-diversity-saturday/anxiety-as-a-result-of-maternal-immune-activation
Val's Take/Conjecture
Communication as a result of extreme anxiety on the part of one or more family members --- is often difficult.​

How we feel about this verbal interaction is often quite dependent on who is on Defense.

If we are on Defense --- we may very much feel that:
  • Things are being blown out of proportion.
 
On the other hand, the person who identified the concern may feel that things are not being taken seriously enough.

If there are generalized anxiety issues  for one or both parties  -- getting some treatment for that is probably a good idea.

Just because someone has ANXIETY, doesn't mean their concern isn't valid

Breaking things down and getting realistic about time frames and viable solutions can help along with the anxiety treatment.
Jalen Hurts
​Win or Learn
Many Neuro-Diverse people have ANXIETY issues from the beginning and those ANXIETY issues can get worse with additional Health Issues.
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<![CDATA[DUELing anxieties --- "understanding brings calm"]]>Tue, 08 Oct 2024 18:20:30 GMThttps://orchidadvocacy.org/translational-love-relationships--neuro-diversity-saturday/dueling-anxieties-understanding-brings-calm
Val's Take/Conjecture
  • There's a lot of "Do As I Say, Not As I Do" in this.
  • So in relationships with spouses/partners and kids --
    • Everyone may be fairly "HIGH ANXIETY" and fairly "INTENSE"
      • But the STYLE, can be very different from SHUTDOWNS to MELTDOWNS and various COMBINATIONS.
  • Often we're asking someone to CHANGE something that is not going to be very easy for that person to change or they are asking us to CHANGE something that is not going to be very easy to change.
    • Whatever the issue is, we may have to move from TRY HARDER to TRY SMARTER.
    • Further, we probably need to just anticipate that we're needing to work on "THIRD ALTERNATIVES" that reasonably take into account everyone's needs.
  • So Lightheartedness and Humor can help a lot.  Having been on both sides of this, we need to be careful that someone isn't laughing on the outside and crying on the inside.
  • AND it's surprising how often INTENSE folks might welcome a break and a chance to RELAX.
  • Finally, we do generally appreciate "UNCONDITIONAL LOVE" with it comes to kids.
  • We're a little more "TRANSACTIONAL" when it comes to our romantic partners and spouses.
  • Neuro-Diverse folks are probably going to face SERIOUS HEALTH ISSUES and BEHAVIOR CHANGES --- sooner than most just because we are often carrying a heavier INFLAMMATORY LOAD (even though we often didn't know it at the time).
    • We're on the cusp of being able to screen for issues we haven't been able to screen for in the past.
Understood

ADHD, Dyslexia Advice for Kids: Try Smarter, Not Try Harder
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Guidance for 2e Kids & Adults
Cont.

  • These very serious health issues are hard for the person to deal with much less their spouse.
  • I was very lucky that in 2006 when I had a psychotic break --- Rick knew what to do.
  • When Rick was having his annoying cough --- I didn't know what to do and it would be years until he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer and numerous brain lesions.
  • We were quite a pair and took considerable comfort in the bickering older couples on "Midsomer Murders."
  • Further, it is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and HUMOR that help get us through some TOUGH TIMES.
  • In the words of our daughter, "We all need a little MERCY & GRACE."


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<![CDATA[Neuro-Diversity, Giftedness, Over-Excitabilities and Premature Aging]]>Mon, 23 Sep 2024 13:27:03 GMThttps://orchidadvocacy.org/translational-love-relationships--neuro-diversity-saturday/neuro-diversity-giftedness-over-excitabilities-and-premature-aging
Val's Take & Conjecture
  • There's debate about the distinction between intelligence and giftedness; but certainly "giftedness" is associated with "overexcitabilities."
  • I think those "overexcitabilities" are the result at least in part of Maternal Immune Activation.
  • Further, it is highly individual and idiosyncratic.
"Hyper-excitability" in the brain is associated with Alzheimer's and Epilepsy as well as Neuro-Developmental Disorders, Psychiatric Disorders and Neuro-Degenerative Disorders

In family relationships, it can be very bewildering that this person we know to be so "smart" is struggling cognitively and/or struggling with serious fatigue.

Further, this isn't occurring in a vacuum--- there are other members of the  family as well as a pretty hyper-excitable society.
Researchers are articulating more sophisticated and nuanced views of intelligence than they have done in the past.

I think our previous simplistic views were largely due to the fact that many researchers considered themselves intelligent --- so it must be an unqualified good --- right?
 
To say "giftedness" or "intelligence" is a mixed bag is an understatement.
 
On the other hand, better understandings and approaches could greatly improve things.
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These observations warrant prospective and retrospective studies of autoinflammatory markers and mechanisms to elucidate any special psychoneuroimmunological vulnerability in children with a high IQ, as such studies may raise implications for how and when prophylactic medical care is provided to children.
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Abstract

Although the pathophysiology of psychiatric disorders remains unclear, an emerging hypothesis contends that most of the common psychiatric disorders are rooted in an inherent hyperexcitability of the neurological system.

Particularly under the influence of stress, too many neurons fire for too long, resulting in pathologically severe and persistent symptoms such as anxiety, depression, irritability, insomnia, inattention, and obsessional thinking.

However, these symptoms are just a small sampling of the many ways that neuronal hyperexcitability can be expressed.

According to the Multi-Circuit Neuronal (MCNH) Hypothesis of Psychiatric Disorders, the trait can also be expressed as overly aggressive behavior, disruptive behavior, risky behavior, promiscuous behavior, avoidant behavior, self-injurious behavior, deviant behavior, addictive behavior, and criminal behavior.

In essence, any behavioral extreme is likely to be rooted in an inherent hyperexcitability of the neurological system.

The importance of recognizing this is that the abnormality, though highly treatable, is commonly overlooked and either mismanaged or poorly managed.

Also, there is emerging evidence that the neuronal hyperexcitability trait, which appears to be heritable as a single nucleotide polymorphism, may be detectable by simply measuring one’s resting vital signs.

If proven to be correct, these findings could incentivize carriers to develop prophylactic strategies early in life.

The importance of this is immense, not only because it could reduce the risk of developing psychiatric and substance use disorders but also because it could have a protective effect against developing any of a wide range of general medical conditions, such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer, and dementia.

This article explores the many faces of neuronal hyperexcitability in an effort to increase awareness of this highly prevalent but elusive neurophysiological abnormality.
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Such aberrant activity subsequently leads to downstream accumulation of toxic proteins, and ultimately to further neurodegeneration and neuronal silencing mediated by concomitant tau accumulation.

Several neurotransmitters participate in the initial hyperexcitable state, with increased synaptic glutamatergic tone and decreased GABAergic inhibition.

These changes appear to activate excitotoxic pathways and, ultimately, cause reduced long-term potentiation, increased long-term depression, and increased GABAergic inhibitory remodelling at the network level.

Brain hyperexcitability has therefore been identified as a potential target for therapeutic interventions aimed at enhancing cognition, and, possibly, disease modification in the longer term.
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In pathology, an abnormal excitation-to-inhibition (E/I) ratio leads to neuronal hyperexcitability and network hyperactivity, constituting the basis for epilepsy and subsequent cognitive dysfunction, and is associated with many neurodevelopmental, neurodegenerative, and psychiatric diseases.
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<![CDATA[Sex Differences in Neuro-Diversity]]>Sat, 17 Aug 2024 22:55:54 GMThttps://orchidadvocacy.org/translational-love-relationships--neuro-diversity-saturday/sex-differences-in-neuro-diversity
Val's Take
  • One of the things one often sees on YouTube with regard to Men with "Autism" and relationships --- there is this idea of the "Neuro-Typical" Spouse.
  • Now, I'm not saying that doesn't exist --- BUT I think often times the "Neuro-Typical" Spouse is not necessarily neuro-typical but is more of a "female version" of ADHD or Autism or some combination.
  • Further, these categories are BLURRED and people are not neatly fitting into them.  [Shared Genes and Psychiatric Disorders]
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<![CDATA[The Perils of Using "Reasonableness" &/or Past Experience as a STAND-IN for "I Don't Know"]]>Mon, 11 Dec 2023 12:01:17 GMThttps://orchidadvocacy.org/translational-love-relationships--neuro-diversity-saturday/the-perils-of-using-reasonableness-or-past-experience-as-a-stand-in-for-i-dont-know
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Val's Take
  • Executive Functioning, Metabolic Differences, Ramped Up Stress Responses, Speech Gifts and Deficits, etc.
AND
  • Some BIG SUBSTANTIVE STRENGTHS

[Hyper-Sensuality--- is part of Neurodiversity and it doesn't necessarily look like what one might expect.

   I think the Denver Art Museum's Sinners, Saints, Lovers & Fools --- gets pretty close to the truth ---
there's nothing quite like being Hyper-Sensual and Hyper Self-Conscious at the same time.]


Executive Functioning Differences
  • My own belief is that many of these EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING DIFFERENCES are driven by the DEMANDS OF GREATER PROCESSING:
    • Short Term Memory Issues
    • Planning
    • Decision-making
    • Organizational Issues
    • Emotional Regulation
      • Those HYPER-CONNECTED LOGICAL BRAINS are ironically requiring special care to avoid MELTDOWNS, PANIC ATTACKS, BURNOUTS and/or BREAKDOWNS
    • And just to make it more fun --- this is coming in all kinds of COMBINATIONS.


Past experience of most people would say ---- MOST PEOPLE DON'T NECESSARILY HAVE THESE ISSUES
  • Therefore, if you do have these issues --- IT IS NOT REASONABLE
  • AND/OR --- you can't have any really big STRENGTHS OR TALENTS
  • For the ASYNCHRONOUS PERSON DEPENDING WHERE THEY HAVE LANDED in the SOCIAL HIERARCHY and what their STRENGTHS and WEAKNESSES actually are and what the ENVIRONMENT is like---
    • May believe they are BETTER than other people
    • WORSE than other people
    • That some people are just BETTER and WORSE than other people.
CLARENCE DARROW in his 1903 address to the inmates of Cook County Jail in Chicago --- now recognized as probably the largest Mental Health Institution in the country:
  • "In one sense we're all equally good and equally bad --- we all do the best we can under the circumstances."
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At some point, I think Stanford Professor Robert Sapolsky's 2017 book "Behave" is going to be one of the milestones and privotal events in the process of changing our understanding of human behavior.
I would say there are at least 4 BIG CATEGORIES of "CIRCUMSTANCES" people are contending with:
  • one's own biology (which is NOT ALL HUMAN btw)
  • the biologies of the people around them (again NOT ALL HUMAN)
  • the social environment
  • the physical environment (including toxins)

and these CHANGING CIRCUMSTANCES  impact OUR BIOLOGIES.
Beyond that --- IT'S NOT JUST THE BRAIN, IT'S NOT JUST "NEURAL."
Neuroscientist & Author Antonio Damasio
It is really from having been surrounded by ASYNCHRONOUS PEOPLE all my life that I know there are SOME BIG STRENGTHS, SOME BIG WEAKNESSES --- and they are:
  • NOT THE SAME
  • they are INDIVIDUAL
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<![CDATA[Slowing Down to Manage High Reactivity and an ISR** ---- an Integrated Stress Response]]>Sat, 06 May 2023 00:16:02 GMThttps://orchidadvocacy.org/translational-love-relationships--neuro-diversity-saturday/slowing-down-to-manage-high-reactivity-and-an-isr-an-integrated-stress-response
Conjecture
  • Part of this is really not only giving ourselves permission to do this --- but others as well.
    • But we do need to get our own OXYGEN MASK ON.
 
  • Right now managing having MORE REACTIVE CELLS and HYPER-CONNECTED BRAINS is pretty difficult and complicated.
    • I don't think that is always going to be the case.
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Affliation
  • Department of Pharmacology, College of Medicine, University of Tennessee Health Science Center, Memphis, TN, USA.
The amygdala integrates and processes incoming information pertinent to reward and to emotions such as fear and anxiety that promote survival by warning of potential danger.

Basolateral amygdala (BLA) communicates bi-directionally with brain regions affecting cognition, motivation and stress responses including prefrontal cortex, hippocampus, nucleus accumbens and hindbrain regions that trigger norepinephrine-mediated stress responses.

Disruption of intrinsic amygdala and BLA regulatory neurocircuits is often caused by dysfunctional neuroplasticity frequently due to molecular alterations in local GABAergic circuits and principal glutamatergic output neurons.

Changes in local regulation of BLA (Basolateral Amygdala) excitability underlie behavioral disturbances characteristic of disorders including post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD), autism, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and stress-induced relapse to drug use.

In this Review, we discuss molecular mechanisms and neural circuits that regulate physiological and stress-induced dysfunction of BLA/amygdala and its principal output neurons.

We consider effects of stress on motivated behaviors that depend on BLA; these include drug taking and drug seeking, with emphasis on nicotine-dependent behaviors.

Throughout, we take a translational approach by integrating decades of addiction research on animal models and human trials.

We show that changes in BLA function identified in animal addiction models illuminate human brain imaging and behavioral studies by more precisely delineating BLA mechanisms.

In summary, BLA is required to promote responding for natural reward and respond to second-order drug-conditioned cues; reinstate cue-dependent drug seeking; express stress-enhanced reacquisition of nicotine intake; and drive anxiety and fear.
University of Michigan School of Medicine
Bipolar Disorder associated with MORE REACTIVE CELLS.

PBS Great Performances
Schumann believed to have Bipolar Disorder

University of Virginia School of Medicine
Immune System may have a large role in Social Behavior

Autism from the Inside
TRAUMA & CONSENT

This does need to be considered in personal relationships.

This is also complicated when we're talking about EMPLOYMENT and PUBLIC POLICY.

And Neuro-Diverse --- Highly Reactive People --- are often represented throughout our Economic & Political Spectrums.

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<![CDATA[NEURO-DIVERSITY:  DEFICIT or EXCESS?]]>Tue, 21 Mar 2023 16:25:13 GMThttps://orchidadvocacy.org/translational-love-relationships--neuro-diversity-saturday/neuro-diversity-deficit-or-excess
When We're Talkin' Neuro-Diversity --- Whether it is a DEFICIT or an EXCESS Depends on How You Look At It

Further, Neuro-Developmental Inflammation can come in all kinds of "PACKAGES" ---
  • We need Authentic Relationships in which people feel comfortable setting and maintaining IDIOSYNCRATIC BOUNDARIES
  • That is going to FEEL more "REASONABLE" if we have BIOMARKERS.

People are getting more familiar with SENSORY ISSUES:
  • When I was a kid "PICKY EATING" was just "PICKY EATING" --- now it is often associated with AUTISM.
    • My poor mother was stuck with a child that routinely cried at the table if requested to try any new foods and it was quite melodramatic --- My mom --- "Give me strength just get through dinner."
    • My Dad I think as a child and even to some extent into adulthood had some of his own picky eating ---- although not to my extent --- so I was never forced to eat anything --- they tried the always popular "Just Try It Once"  --- but I rarely did.
      • I'm still the "PICKIEST EATER" in my family . . . even my kids aren't as "PICKY" as I am.

BUT there are OTHER SENSORY ISSUES with SMELL and SOUND --- and I'm often the one saying, "Give me a break."
  • BUT if I don't respect those SENSORY ISSUES --- I generally live to regret it.
Now just to COMPLICATE this a little ---- DO I MASK --- yes ---- EVEN IF all the MASKS came down I wouldn't look like the person we TRADITIONALLY think of with "AUTISM."
There are PEOPLE and FACES at the TOP of the ORCHID website pretty much everyday ----
  • Because that is WHAT I LIKE TO LOOK AT --- AUTHENTICALLY.
Kings College London
Thinking Twice About ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder


Talk delivered by Professor Patrick Bolton, Professor of Child & Adolescent Neuropsychiatry, Department of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, Institute of  Psychology, Psychiatry & Neuroscience
I want to go even further with this:  AUTISM and ADHD are BLURRED CATEGORIES ---
  • EVEN FURTHER --- they are NOT GOOD CATEGORIES.
  • This appears to really be about COMMON GENES and MATERNAL IMMUNE ACTIVATION that can be very INDIVIDUAL.
If all we've got are SYMPTOM CLUSTERS AND WE DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER--- we go with SYMPTOM CLUSTERS ----
  • BUT the RESEARCH is painting a MUCH MORE COMPLICATED PICTURE ---
  • We're trying to get those BIOMARKERS which I think are going to involve NEURO-DEVELOPMENTAL INFLAMMATION and it's IDIOSYNCRATIC EFFECT on MULTIPLE SYSTEMS OF THE BODY ----
It's quite a tale of the INDIVIDUAL and the SOCIETY --- because no individual could figure this out by themselves ---- and what we're finding is enormous INDIVIDUALITY. 
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<![CDATA[Beyond Mr. Spock & Logic]]>Tue, 03 Jan 2023 18:41:59 GMThttps://orchidadvocacy.org/translational-love-relationships--neuro-diversity-saturday/beyond-mr-spock-logic
Conjecture
  • When we see somebody like Brittany Griner ---- she is NOT HETEROSEXUAL and she doesn't look like the majority of women ---
    • yet she is a woman --- I don't think we need to take it PERSONALLY OR AS INSULT that people are CONFUSED.
    • I also don't think we have to DENY REALITY either.
 
  • People are coming in a lot of "PACKAGES" that people are NOT EXPECTING and especially given some of our SEXUAL STEREOTYPES and STEREOTYPES IN GENERAL
 
  • What I'm wanting to consider is that NEURO-DIVERSE HETERO-SEXUAL male or female who may be a little more EXTREME and what I'm wanting to throw out there are:
    • LANGUAGE ABILITIES,
    • LOGIC ABILITIES and
    • VISUAL-SPATIAL THINKING.
 
  • Feminists of the 1970s were an INTENSE BREED and most sad to me was that they were relying on some guy to VALIDATE THEM (to say they were "EQUAL") and what they valued were GUY THINGS.
    • I can do anything you can do better.
 
  • This is NOT NECESSARILY GOING WHERE YOU THINK IT IS.
 
  • Things are NOT ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.
 
  • Through a big part of human history --- women haven't been taught to read ---
    • Not all girls and women --- but many to most are better readers than boys and men.
 
  • When we think about VERBAL LANGUAGE certainly ---
    • a lot of information is being conveyed by TONE
    • what is regulating that TONE is often some type of EMOTIONAL RESPONSE to INFORMATION and/or the ENVIRONMENT.
 
  • Further, some Mental Health Apps are trying to key off of TONE OF VOICE as an indicator of mental health issues ---
    • and at least one study suggests that most arguments are more about TONE OF VOICE than SUBSTANCE.
 
  • Historically, we've thought that people who were VERY EMOTIONAL were VERY ILLOGICAL --
    • Women have been hit with this a lot --
    • But some men, too
 
  • Further, if you start equating being UNEMOTIONAL with being LOGICAL which we do ----
    • We have a tendency to SKIP the LOGIC Part and just try to appear UNEMOTIONAL.
 

  • What I'm trying to get at is --- I don't think EMOTIONAL EQUATES TO ILLOGICAL.
 
  • WHAT ELSE AM I TRYING TO GET AT?
    • I do think EMOTION is a little like FIRE
      • Is it a good thing or a bad thing ---
        • IT DEPENDS
 
  • I don't think it is any accident that we sometimes refer to people with "mental illness" as being "TOUCHED BY FIRE."
    • Further, a lot of people with Neuro-Developmental Disorders got that "GIFTED LABEL" before that LATE DIAGNOSIS
 
  • We used to use the word MATHEMATICS --- but in the US --- it's MATH
    • In Britain --- it's "MATHS"
      • and I've come to think that is IMPORTANT. 
      • For me personally, ALGEBRA does help with REASONING --- but it is not the only TOOL I'm using.
 
  • To me, LOGIC is something that you practice in BOTH LANGUAGE and MATHEMATICS.
 
  • EMOTION is NOT SYNONYMOUS with EITHER LOGIC or ILLOGIC
    • Emotion is part of the REASONING PROCESS
    • Generally, NOT ALWAYS  ---
      • Females can take on MORE EMOTION than Males ---
        • Before things start to really go off the RAILS ---
        • BUT that's NOT UNLIMITED 

To me, we all have to be CAREFUL with EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM and the threshhold for some men is less than for some women.
Brittany Griner
Photo Credit:  Wall Street Journal

The ICON of UNEMOTIONAL RATIONALITY & LOGIC ---

Mr. Spock from the Star Trek TV Series 1966-1969

I don't really have a problem with someone wanting to pair UNEMOTIONAL DEMEANOR with LOGIC ---
What I really have a problem with is--- putting on a FACADE of UNEMOTIONALITY and  FORGETTING  THE LOGIC.

On the other hand --- I don't particularly like to deal with people who are IMPLODING or EXPLODING --- although if there is some LOGIC (there often isn't) --- I'll try to work through it with you.

BOTTOM LINE:  I'm probably more LOGICAL than you are --- If pushed --- I will prove it.

I used to be TOO POLITE to point that out --- I'm not anymore.
  • Especially for people who were supposed to be on my TEAM

I don't think it is just NEURO-DIVERSE Wpmen who are often TOO POLITE ---
  • for a lot of Neuro-Diverse people POLITENESS was an UNCONSCIOUS COMPENSATORY STRATEGY for Executive Functioning Challenges.
  • I think we need to get EDUCATED & HONEST about our EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING CHALLENGES ---
    • And stop putting up with people walking all over us.
This represents a lot of FRUSTRATION over DECADES ----
BUT the Truth is during most of that time I DID NOT KNOW I had Executive Functioning Differences ---
  • What I did know was that I had Substantive Abilities that were often above those around me.

FURTHER
  • These people that I am SO FRUSTRATED WITH ---
  • If the TRUTH be told  --- often were contending with their own Neuro-Diversity.
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<![CDATA[The Double Blind, Triple Secret Gaslight]]>Sun, 11 Dec 2022 11:58:45 GMThttps://orchidadvocacy.org/translational-love-relationships--neuro-diversity-saturday/the-double-blind-triple-secret-gaslight
When we think about this kind of "GASLIGHTING" we're often talking about some kind of DUPLICITY --- and that is it's own FEAR-BASED PATHOLOGY.

What I'm wanting to talk about is I think something that is more COMMON and more HONEST but nonetheless PROBLEMATIC among Neuro-Diverse People:
  • Ramped Up Stress Responses
  • Catastrophizing
  • Emotional Intensity
  • NOT being duped by the crazy ideas of the other person
  • BUT those crazy ideas are the GASLIGHT to your own ramped exaggerated concerns about the other person.

THIS CAN BE A DOWNWARD SPIRAL.

I'm not saying there aren't dangerous situations out there --- there are --- we need to deal with them.

BUT sometimes what is happening is situations are being WORSENED by our own STRESS RESPONSES that are HARMING our OVERALL HEALTH and our OVERALL ABILITY TO PROBLEM-SOLVE.

Some people worry about MONEY, LOVE, the WEATHER, POLITICS, their KIDS, and/or GRANDKIDS, etc.


I remember my maternal grandmother saying, "YOU'RE GOING TO WORRY ME TO DEATH" -- if one of the grand-kids was doing something that was a little questionable.
  • Ignoring something wasn't necessarily the right response --
  • Getting "worried to death" probably isn't either.

For people who are Neuro-Diverse with ramped up STRESS RESPONSES -----our ATTACHMENT STYLES and RAMPED UP CONFLICT STYLES can be PROBLEMATIC just as in other cases they can be BENEFICIAL.
AND you add on to all of this EMOTIONAL INTENSITY --- that can include Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria ---- and you have the DOUBLE BLIND, TRIPLE SECRET GASLIGHT.
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Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman in Gaslight (1944)
"Gaslighting" has entered the lexicon deriving from "the title of the 1944 American film Gaslight, though the term did not gain popular currency in English until the mid-2010s.
  • The term may also be used to describe a person (a "gaslighter") who presents a false narrative to another group or person, thereby leading them to doubt their perceptions and become misled, disoriented or distressed.
  • Oftentimes this is for the gaslighter's own benefit.
  • Normally, this dynamic is possible only when the audience is vulnerable, such as in unequal power relationships, or fearful of the losses associated with challenging the false narrative. (Wikipedia)
To me what is HILARIOUS --- is there is this Australian Engineer with Autism on YouTube who is giving some of the best relationship advice out there.

A big insight I think that Paul Micallef has is to SOLVE PROBLEMS "SOON" --- but not necessarily immediately.

I tend to get so stressed out --- that I used to think things had to be solved immediately:
  • Unfortunately, my ramped up stress response could ramp up the other person and OVERWHELM them with ANXIETY---PANIC
  • which would lead to my own PANIC
  • and it didn't necessarily lead to anything getting resolved.
3 Tips for Neurodivergent Marriages --- (Is Your Partner Autistic? ADHD? Neurotypical?!?)
  • Solve Problems Soon
  • Set Your Partner Up for Success
  • Focus on What You Can Control (Put Your Own Oxygen Mask on First)
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<![CDATA[How We Unwittingly Put Ourselves & Others in Catch-22s]]>Tue, 13 Sep 2022 12:23:33 GMThttps://orchidadvocacy.org/translational-love-relationships--neuro-diversity-saturday/how-we-unwittingly-put-ourselves-others-in-catch-22sSlow Processing, Time Management Issues, Unrealistic Expectations & Ramped Up Stress Responses
Conjecture

Asynchronous people with Slow Processing are going to be in a WORLD OF HURT if they don't recognize some IDIOSYNCRATIC Time Management Challenges.


Ideally, parents and teachers are aware of idiosyncratic time management challenges for the "EXCEPTIONALITIES."
  • But we're just starting to appreciate these issues from an occupational therapy standpoint ---
  • The reality is most kids & adults are on their own.

There can be a lot of "CRASH & BURN" --- especially when these ASYNCHRONOUS KIDS become ADULTS and they don't have the EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING SUPPORT that was being provided by their families.
  • TOUGH LOVE is probably the WRONG PRESCRIPTION in most cases where we're dealing with a NEURO-DEVELOPMENTAL DIFFERENCE such as ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia and or "Giftedness"/Asynchrony.

We now understand that there are SERIOUS CONCERNS when people are accumulating a COMPOUNDING "SLEEP DEBT" ---
  • I would submit there are SERIOUS HEALTH CONCERNS when we're accumulating a COMPOUNDING "TIME DEBT."
    • and this is what is a contributing factor to NEURO-DIVERSE BURNOUT &/or BREAK-DOWN.
Now what is particularly UNHELPFUL is for us or the people in our lives to say:
  • "If you really cared/ were responsible or loved me --- YOU/WE WOULDN'T HAVE THESE CHALLENGES."  --- OR
  • YOU'RE AN IDIOT
By and large, a lot of taking this personally and failing to recognize STRENGTHS ---
  • goes away when we recognize the NEURO-DEVELOPMENTAL EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING DIFFERENCES --- AND
  • THE ASYNCHRONY

Now most us want this kind of "FORBEARANCE" and Understanding --- BUT we're not particularly good at giving it.
The more the NUTS & BOLTS of Occupational Therapy approaches to Executive Functioning Issues and Asynchrony are developed and understood in the Society ---
  • the easier it will be for Individuals, Families, Employers and the Society at large. 
Image Credit:  St. Catherine University ---
Val's Take:  Traditional "Therapy" has an important place in the TOOL KIT --- But we're often missing "OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY."  

Significant private and public resources are WASTED by not addressing Executive Functioning Issues from an OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY PERSPECTIVE.

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