​Benjamin Clementine
I Won't Complain

​Clementine has been open about his own mental health problems.  This is a brilliant music video that captures the desperation that can sometimes come from being on that Neuro-Developmental / Psychiatric Continuum as well as a member of humanity.

Here, I'm referencing the Box Full of Eyes -- I'm taking that to mean many diverse perspectives.

Many Neuro-Diverse people don't have any problem being empathetic, but may be overwhelmed by the amount and intensity of sensory information.

• Politically, we are familiar with high cognitive ability and behavioral and emotional dysregulation --- this isn't limited to one party.

 

• Although very bright in some cases, NEURO-DIVERSE PEOPLE as the result of Maternal Immune Activation, typically have:​
  • ​Brain Energy issues that they are trying to manage not just in the marriage but in the rest of their life as well.
    • They may  find speech pressured.
    • They may find it difficult to talk.

​Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: Last in, first out - delayed brain maturation with an accelerated decline?  (2020)

​"Thus, ADHD may not only be associated with delayed neurodevelopment, but also with a premature age-related deterioration, at least in some measures of electrophysiological functioning."

​My own opinion is that most neuro-diverse couples in the future would be better served by a Neuro-Immunologist than a couples' therapist.

In the meantime, more AWARENESS, EDUCATION and ACCOMMODATION  regarding those on the Neuro-Developmental and Psychiatric Continuum could greatly help Marriages, Families and the Society as a whole.

• To me, the big issue is not fitting into an anachronistic diagnostic category of ADHD or Autism or something else, it's recognizing the profound idiosyncratic impacts of IN UTERO inflammation and how that impacts the lifespan.
• Neurodiverse people have some amazing gifts --- but the trade-offs can be traumatic.

Further, a more accurate MEDICAL MODEL could calm things down quite a bit. ​

​Right now there is a lot  of unpredictable chronic stress and often chronic health problems associated with being a neuro-diverse person ---

• That's changing, but there is a lot of room for improvement.
• The more predictable and manageable neuro-diversity is over the lifespan --- the better for everyone.

​Rene Magritte, The Lovers (1928)

​So when you think or someone suggests, "Hey, you guys just need to talk this out."

• That turns out to be a lot more complicated than anyone would think --- including the people involved.

Further, when it comes to our partners and spouses --- we're often "This is all about me" or "This is all about my spouse --- No human has ever had a communication issue before."

​Harry Styles
Late Night Talking

​Mitochondria and Brain Function: Why Energy Metabolism Impacts Focus, Mood, and Speech ​

​Association Between Gray Matter Volume Variations and Energy Utilization in the Brain: Implications for Developmental Stuttering (2021)

​​"[P]otential connection between energy metabolism and stuttering.

"Brain regions with high energy utilization may be particularly vulnerable to anatomical changes associated with stuttering."

I think the Bottom Line is that Neuro-Diverse people are having to work harder at relationships because they and often their partners are more idiosyncratic AND we often have less energy to manage that complexity.​

• ​Also, we're often not just trying to manage this complexity in our personal lives --- but also our work lives.

​Ella Henderson
Hard Work

​Val's Take/Conjecture

• ​Neurodivergent Therapist Louise Taylor:  "EMPATHY IS ABOUT THE EFFORT"
• Guess What:  IDIOSYNCRATIC PEOPLE TAKE MORE EFFORT

 

• ​KEY CONCEPTS are:
  • ​Bio-Energetics, and
  • Executive Functioning

 

• BUT we need to focus on STRENGTHS first for everyone if we're to have any hope of addressing idiosyncratic bio-energetics and executive functioning.

• BUT just focusing on STRENGTHS is not necessarily (probably won't) get us out of the woods.​ ​

​​​Mark Hutton, M.A.
Listen At Your Own Risk:  Most Brutal Message to Neurotypical Wives  [& Husbands]

We are on the cusp of some much better treatments for Neuro-Developmental and Psychiatric Disorders.

Neuro-Developmental and Psychiatric  Disorders are being re-conceptualized in Immuno-Psychiatry.

​BUT --- Counselor Mark Hutton's advice is still relevant.

​Miley Cyrus 
Flowers

​Neurodivergent Rebel --- Lyric Rivera
Why We NEED to Teach Boundaries & Consent to Autistic People

​Em Beihold 
​Numb Little Bug

​Val's Take:  I think it is telling that therapist Mark Hutton mentions "AUTO-IMMUNE DISORDERS" in the "NT Spouse" as a result of not getting her emotional needs met.

I think those "AUTO-IMMUNE DISORDERS" are another clue that "NT Spouse" may not be as neurotypical as we think.  ​

​Risk of Autoimmune Disease in Research-Identified Cases of Autism Spectrum Disorder: A Longitudinal, Population-Based Birth Cohort Study (2024)

Conclusion: This study provides evidence from a longitudinal, population-based birth cohort for co-occurrence of ASD and autoimmune disorders.

Thus, children with ASD should be monitored for symptoms of autoimmune disease and appropriate workup initiated.

​Val's Take/Conjecture

• In the world of Neuro-Diversity and Maternal Immune Activation (MIA), ANXIETY is one of the defining features and is present early on.
• Further, MIA can result in intellectual disability. but it can also result in above average intellectual ability.

​That ANXIETY can also look like PANIC ATTACKS and PTSD.

Additionally, on top of that ANXIETY is often ANGER and AGGRESSION ----

• By and large, more imploding than exploding.

Further, Maternal Immune Activation is bringing Emotional Dysregulation that may be getting worse with additional Inflammation.

​AWARENESS & KNOWLEDGE can definitely help.  I think that is the driving force behind so many Neuro-Diverse Youtubers.

• And a common experience of what a HELL it can be not to have that awareness and knowledge.

​Finally, we need better treatments for the INFLAMMATION and EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATION that often comes with Neuro-Diversity and Maternal Immune Activation.

​Paul Micallef --- Autism from the Inside.
Autism & Attachment Theory

In this video, Paul proposes that some to many neurodiverse relationships involve NEURO-DIVERSE MEN and "ANXIOUS NEURO-TYPICAL WOMEN."

I would say a lot of those "ANXIOUS NEURO-TYPICAL WOMEN" (not necessarily all) are NEURO-DIVERSE --- it just doesn't look like male neuro-diversity.

​Maternal immune activation and its multifaceted effects on learning and memory in rodent offspring: A systematic review (2024)

​​Highlights
•
Maternal immune activation (MIA) can impair offspring learning and memory.
•
MIA negatively impacts cognition in rodents.
•
Males are more susceptible to cognitive deficits.
•
Some studies show improved cognition after MIA.
•
Sex differences in immune responses may explain cognitive outcomes.

​Maternal immune activation generates anxiety in offspring (2024)

Communication as a result of extreme anxiety on the part of one or more family members --- is often difficult.​

How we feel about this verbal interaction is often quite dependent on who is on Defense.

If we are on Defense --- we may very much feel that:

• Things are being blown out of proportion.

 
On the other hand, the person who identified the concern may feel that things are not being taken seriously enough.

If there are generalized anxiety issues  for one or both parties  -- getting some treatment for that is probably a good idea.

Just because someone has ANXIETY, doesn't mean their concern isn't valid

Breaking things down and getting realistic about time frames and viable solutions can help along with the anxiety treatment.

​Jalen Hurts
​Win or Learn

​Many Neuro-Diverse people have ANXIETY issues from the beginning and those ANXIETY issues can get worse with additional Health Issues.

Understood

ADHD, Dyslexia Advice for Kids: Try Smarter, Not Try Harder

Cont.

• These very serious health issues are hard for the person to deal with much less their spouse.
• I was very lucky that in 2006 when I had a psychotic break --- Rick knew what to do.
• When Rick was having his annoying cough --- I didn't know what to do and it would be years until he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer and numerous brain lesions.
• We were quite a pair and took considerable comfort in the bickering older couples on "Midsomer Murders."
• Further, it is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and HUMOR that help get us through some TOUGH TIMES.
• In the words of our daughter, "We all need a little MERCY & GRACE."
  

"Hyper-excitability" in the brain is associated with Alzheimer's and Epilepsy as well as Neuro-Developmental Disorders, Psychiatric Disorders and Neuro-Degenerative Disorders

In family relationships, it can be very bewildering that this person we know to be so "smart" is struggling cognitively and/or struggling with serious fatigue.

Further, this isn't occurring in a vacuum--- there are other members of the  family as well as a pretty hyper-excitable society.

Researchers are articulating more sophisticated and nuanced views of intelligence than they have done in the past.

I think our previous simplistic views were largely due to the fact that many researchers considered themselves intelligent --- so it must be an unqualified good --- right?
 
To say "giftedness" or "intelligence" is a mixed bag is an understatement.
 
On the other hand, better understandings and approaches could greatly improve things.

Abstract

Although the pathophysiology of psychiatric disorders remains unclear, an emerging hypothesis contends that most of the common psychiatric disorders are rooted in an inherent hyperexcitability of the neurological system.

Particularly under the influence of stress, too many neurons fire for too long, resulting in pathologically severe and persistent symptoms such as anxiety, depression, irritability, insomnia, inattention, and obsessional thinking.

However, these symptoms are just a small sampling of the many ways that neuronal hyperexcitability can be expressed.

According to the Multi-Circuit Neuronal (MCNH) Hypothesis of Psychiatric Disorders, the trait can also be expressed as overly aggressive behavior, disruptive behavior, risky behavior, promiscuous behavior, avoidant behavior, self-injurious behavior, deviant behavior, addictive behavior, and criminal behavior.

In essence, any behavioral extreme is likely to be rooted in an inherent hyperexcitability of the neurological system.

The importance of recognizing this is that the abnormality, though highly treatable, is commonly overlooked and either mismanaged or poorly managed.

Also, there is emerging evidence that the neuronal hyperexcitability trait, which appears to be heritable as a single nucleotide polymorphism, may be detectable by simply measuring one’s resting vital signs.

If proven to be correct, these findings could incentivize carriers to develop prophylactic strategies early in life.

The importance of this is immense, not only because it could reduce the risk of developing psychiatric and substance use disorders but also because it could have a protective effect against developing any of a wide range of general medical conditions, such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer, and dementia.

This article explores the many faces of neuronal hyperexcitability in an effort to increase awareness of this highly prevalent but elusive neurophysiological abnormality.